After Every Storm, Soon Comes A Rainbow

At the end of my first trimester, of my first pregnancy, I began to bleed heavily, and my partner noticed the concern when I exited the bathroom and rush me to the emergency room where they did not detect a dentist in utero and a mass in my left fallopian tube. The surgical OBGYN then proceeded to inform me that I maybe having an ectopic pregnancy and I had 2 options for removal, or the continuous growth could kill me. The options included a chemotherapy injection that would dissolve the tissue in my tube or to have surgery to remove the mass. However, the injection was highly unrecommended by the physician due to my medical history and so I agreed upon the surgical removal of the mass until I was informed that he was planning to take my entire lube instead of giving the option to suctioning the embryo and so I proceeded with the methotrexate shot AFTER returning to the ER for the 5th time.

Once my cycle resumed after that experience, I was blessed to carry my rainbow baby. During this season, I was filled with gloom and took little to no excitement in this experience due to fear of another loss, feeling that my body has failed me, and the lack of support from my partner. Although, I was not as enthralled as before, I took the time to learn about parenting, pregnancy, labour, and delivery, and joined various of communities for women that are mothers or becoming a mother.

It wasn’t until the third trimester, when I went to visit my family and they showed excitement for the new life that I was carrying. That’s when I began to realize that this birth is happening and it’s time to prepare because I had absolutely nothing except items from raffles and gift bags from one of the groups that I saint out. I didn’t even have a birth plan.

I had envisioned an unmedicated vaginal birth because I was unaware of any risks my entire pregnancy until a few weeks prior. I was at 37 weeks when I was informed that my baby was weighing below average, I was at risk for preeclampsia, and that the wanted to move forward with an induction. At that moment, I began to continue my research on birth education and began taking measures to induce myself at home.

At 37 weeks and 5 days, my water broke at 10:25pm as I was lying in bed. I then yelled to my mom “I think my water broke”, called the hospital I was due to give labour at, showered, packed my bags for food and clothes, started timing my contractions and walked patiently for a returning phone call from the OB on call. It was at 1:10am (37 weeks 6 days) when my mom decided that we were just going to head to the hospital since it was 30 minutes away and they have yet to return my call, my contractions were coming every 5 minutes, lasting for 60 plus seconds, for over an hour, and from her experience many years ago she knew that I was now in active labour.

Once I reached the hospital at 2:00am, I then received my returned phone call, and they instructed me to let the people know at the front desk of the ER that they are waiting for me at labor and delivery and was taken straight to the fourth floor of the hospital.

It wasn’t until I reached the labour and delivery unit where o began to feel neglected. Although I kept informing the staff that I feel as if I had to use the bathroom, they acted as if I was not in true labour and took their time to process me and get me into a room 3 hours after my arrival. Once I got to the assigned room, it was time to push, my birth plan thrown out the window, and I had my baby girl in my arms within the hour after being cut open and her head suctioned. Due to the complications of delivery, we ended staying in the hospital for 2 nights with 2 returns to the emergency the following days.

After this experience, all I could think about was how much I wished to have had a doula, someone who was well versed in childbirth, and could have assisted with my birth plan being fulfilled the best that it could have been and advocated for my care.

Although, I have always wanted to become a birth worker before, this experience has brought me to feel more passionate towards becoming a companion for mothers who lack support, an educator for those who lack knowledge and information, and an advocate for those who need someone to pause the room and supports their reproductive rights. I wish to serve a community that needs being educated, being supported, being heard, and being seen in retrospect to their individual needs that may get overlooked.

My drive to support other mothers from intrapartum to postpartum comes from the lack of knowledge to self-identify signs and symptoms of intrapartum risk factors that were overlooked, not being able to pause the room and advocate for my birth plan in what felt as a rushed delivery, and to ease the trauma experienced in delivery and postpartum troubles by preparing families with information-based research. I would serve as a supportive, trusted, well informed, advocate, companion, and resource for those mothers and partners who are experiencing the lack of detailed care due to the high influx of patients to doctor ratio, unaffordability, or unjust care.